
Ask an Aerialista
Dear Lillian,
I am looking to get married. How can I be sure my husband will keep me at a high standard of living?
Love,
Can't be Broke
Dear Broke,
Only accept offers that are accompanied by large diamonds and the finest pink champagne. My first husband proposed to me by coming backstage, reaching into a velvet bag and showering me with loose family heirloom diamonds. The other girls pushed and grabbed to gather the diamonds up off the floor. Then my suitor pulled out a five carrot diamond ring and placed it on my finger. Of course I said yes, he had just come into his inheritance. Broke, my advice to you is don't settle for less.
Love,
Lillian Dish
Dear Poppy Daze,
I was wondering how do you keep your energy up with so many grueling rehearsals each week?
Love,
Tired by Tuesday
Dear Tired,
I am so glad you asked. I maximize my physical potential with a new product put out by Aerialista Unlimited. New and improved rhinestone encrusted Salt Lick! Keep your electrolytes in check with Salt Lick. "Just click it and lick it". New, from The Aerialistas!
Love,
Poppy Daze
Dear Aerialistas,
Lately I have been getting stealth dated by men that I thought were just friends. What should I do?
Love,
Desperate to Know
Dear Desperate,
I will let you in on a little Aerialista trick. Before we go out we create a subtle signal that can be flashed in the presence of the offending male. This notifies the other girls to interfere with the stealth date and force the stealth dater to the side. Good Luck!
Love,
The Aerialistas